Today, I didn't lie to my dad. I told my day that I was going out with C. Suprisingly, he took it well. I just felt exhausted lying to my parents all the time, I'm almost 20. They should know I am old enough to think for myself. And I am relieved I told them. I need to learn to grow up, it's my life and they need to learn to let me grow up.
So we went Cheshire Oaks and I had such a good time. I was happy, truely happy. My smiles were genuine and I didn't want the day to end. It felt like how it use to be. Before all the cheating, the lying, the arguments. When I'm with him, I forget all the bad things between us. It's just when I reflect on my own does it hurt. It's painful carrying the burden around but he does make me extremely happy. Is this worth it? I hope it is as it has been a year since I committed what I regret in my whole life. At the time, it seemed fun and exciting and different but looking back I am selfish causing so much pain for the both of us. I wish I could turn back time but mistakes were made and I am truely repentant. What a coinscidence it being Good Friday . Easter being about new lives, new start. I wish we truely start afresh..
"Love is the most sweetest form of affection and the most cruelest form of torture.."
